Search This Blog

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

"Knowing" in Three Parts

The wind howls, the rain pounds against the windows, tree branches slap wildly, tornado warnings beep on my phone, the sun bursts through, and the rain returns in torrents.  This April day's weather screams of uncertainty and change - a metaphor for a planet in the throes of Covid19. With more questions than answers, I offer thoughts on my small world during a pandemic, each through a lens of "knowing" for yesterday/today/tomorrow.

What I thought I knew:

1. The day of the week and the calendar date
2. A love for reading books
3. A love for cooking
4. How to eyeball what six feet apart looks like on local walking trails and maintain it
5. Medical professionals perform jobs that include many stomach churning parts 
6. My failings
7. Creating my food shopping list in the order of the store layout
8. The cost of offering a smile - nothing
9. Pets are comfort
10.We have a childish, self-absorbed, career con-artist president who couldn't lead a horse to water
11. Face Time
12. A disinterest in making sour dough bread
13. Bleeding heart plants in my garden bloom in early May 
14. The definition of an Optimist: someone who sees the bright side and that things will work out
15. Teachers create worlds for all types of learners every day in the classroom
16. Standing shoulder to shoulder at concert venues brings the communal music experience to its fullest
17. Boxes of memorabilia in the attic and various closets bring comfort.
18. Meeting friends at a bar or restaurant is casual and easy
19. "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone"

What I now know:

1. Morning, Afternoon and Evening
2. A pandemic finds me struggling to read books
3. I still love to cook
4. Most fellow walkers who travel two, three, and four abreast on local trails reliably do not eyeball what six feet apart looks like nor do they seek it
5. Medical professionals have bravery that exceeds my imaginings
6. There are more than I thought
7. Entering the store from a different doorway and beginning to shop on the opposite end of the store using one way aisles tosses me into the "away team" category
8. A smile has immeasurable value
9. I regret not having a pet
10. Ditto, only worse as he uses daily briefings during a pandemic for personal ego rallies
11. Zoom
12. I am still not interested in making sour dough bread
13. Bleeding heart plants in my garden bloom in early April 
14. An Apocaloptimist: someone who knows it's all going to s*%t but still thinks things will turn out okay (credit to @mesa.fama)
15. Teachers can create these worlds virtually in the span of mere days
16. How did we ever stand shoulder to shoulder in crowds for anything?
17. Boxes of memorabilia in my home attic and various closets take up a lot of emotional and physical space
18. Meeting friends at a bar, restaurant, or anywhere should NEVER be taken for granted
19. Joni Mitchell is right

What I hope to know:

1. To trust my calendar
2. How to find my way back to reading books
3. To rely less on recipes and more intuition when I cook
4. Patience with myself and others in the social distancing world
5. People will continue to train to be and choose to work as medical professionals
6. Improvement and acceptance are always possible
7. Even infinitesimal change - such as feeling like the away team -  is growth
8. A smile translates well through crinkly eyes while wearing a homemade personal protection mask
9. Pet memes and photos still bring comfort
10. A November change in presidency
11. Up close and personal conversation minus a computer/phone/any device
12. Appreciation for all sour dough bread bakers (especially you hardy first timers!) 
13. Electing leaders who give science its due re: climate change and other crises
14. More new words to describe this current world
15. Teachers will forever be held and paid as high value workers
16. Our gatherings will once again be full, robust, safe
17. An appreciation for the past with fewer memory boxes
18. Meeting friends anywhere casually and easily
19. Every darn day - good or bad - is the gift

Peace, safety, good health to all.