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Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day Exhale

Mother's Day can have the forced feel of New Year's Eve.  We're compelled to do something - after all, everyone started with having a mother.

I like the intention of Mother's Day but it can come with so much expectation.  Advertisers make sure we are bombarded with messages about how to thank our moms.  According to them, buying stuff is the answer.

I am a mother.  I have a mother.  We are clear about loving one another.  We agree. We disagree.  We like being together and we tire of each other.  We are nondescript in the grand scheme of mother/daughter relationships and I revel in the everyday-ness of us.  Setting aside one day for saying I love you just seems superfluous.

More importantly I think on friends whose mothers are gone, or suffer illnesses, or those who struggle to know/understand their mom. There are friends who have a tough time with their kids and those whose kids don't care. And yes there are friends whose child has died. What does this day mean to these moms?  Does it just press harder on them?  What good comes from that?

I guess what I am trying to say that if we listen to Hallmark , there is no room for a less than wildly perfect relationship on Mother's Day.  Let's dial it back a bit and recognize that this day is not rainbows and unicorns for many children and mothers. And that's okay. But let's be mindful of it.

Motherhood is so many things.  But it is not the only thing for women. 

Instead of overly glorifying mothers, how about we celebrate all women - those with or without children.  Let's have a Women's Day.  Let's really be a sisterhood and be thankful for each other.