Words That Cross

It was a brilliant ruse.

She would warn us (well, really my two brothers) that she would individually list our many infractions if we did not settle down.  The misdeeds would be shared with our parents upon their return.

In her left hand was a newspaper section neatly folded into one quarter size. In her right, a pen (not pencil) at the ready to jot down the misbehavior.  This was my grandmother's way of keeping order while babysitting us. It was also a marvelous slight of hand. Each movement of her pen served dual purposes depending on which side of the paper you viewed.  We saw our future punishments multiply as the diligent notation of bad behavior took place.  My grandmother saw the white spaces of her crossword puzzle dissipate as she conquered them with answers.

Four youngsters'  naughty list was one woman's solved puzzle. 

I love thinking about my grandmother's duplicity.  Talk about multi-tasking! She was able to double her pleasure as she maintained control and solved the daily puzzle, proving the pen is mightier than the sword.  Though as a parent I could never match her effectively simple scheme, I did come to love the addiction known as (and I use this verb loosely) solving crossword puzzles.  My two favorites are Merl Reegle's crossword inventions and the New York Times Sunday puzzle.

The puzzles, pristine as I begin my attack each weekend, transform into crumpled, smudged, tattered opponents as I enter the weekly mind bending wrestling match. I attempt to solve them in one day but keep them on my nightstand to return for more attacks during the week. Yes, I am not a speedster in this arena.  I remember seeing the 2006 documentary "Wordplay" marveling to the point of dumbstruck at solvers setting stopwatches to time themselves completing the puzzles. 

Here is the beauty of this playing field.  While the timekeepers are battling it out in the World Series and  I am playing stick ball on a dirt lot, we are all vying with the same opponent.  Now this is fair game!

To any fellow crossword nerds who are reading this, please stay with me now. Are we simpatico? Does the next sentence resonate with you?  If a blood pressure cuff was attached to my upper arm as I looked down the driveway each Saturday morning to see if the half of the Sunday Times was delivered, it would spike precipitously as I unfurled the plastic sleeve contents looking for the Sunday puzzle. Likewise, if the puzzle is missing, another spike will occur measuring profound disappointment.  The Times customer service is always so willing to quickly refund my money if the magazine is missing.  I suffer through the automated menu to reach someone live so I can explain that nothing but the publication containing the puzzle will suffice. (yes, you can get it online, but the tactile nature of the beast is essential.)

The overhaul of the Times Sunday magazine in March of this year readily assured readers that the puzzle was the one item that remained untouched.  In fact the editor's letter was titled "Everything But the Crossword." No matter what you think of the NY Times, you have to admire their common sense.  They may wrestle mercilessly with the Tea Party, tea leaf politics, and world issues of the day but they know better than to mess with crossword geeks ready to storm the castle. 

NY Times Crossword
Puzzle Editor, Will Shortz

For 34 years many of these very soldiers of solving have been meeting at the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament. "Wordplay" takes us inside once such tournament and it was here that I realized, in this funny little arena,  these are my people.  A little more ardent than I, perhaps, and definitely much more intelligent, we share fervor, humor and appreciation for the usually clever, often brain crushing construction of a puzzle created by a cadre of puzzlemakers,  names of whom I now begin to take note.  All edited by Will Shortz.  And yes, the Times puzzles are tops.  Jon Stewart puts it this way in the documentary: "I am a Times puzzle fan.  I will solve USA Today, but I don't feet good about myself!"

The paper's crossword blog, aptly named Wordplay, provides such quirky, interesting, insight into this wordy world it attracts my oddball sensibilities and delights to my freak core.  Here is a sample:
http://wordplay.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/07/08/terrorizers/?scp=2&sq=wordplay&st=cse

There is a minor athletic component to this crossword craziness.  We read the clues aloud, mumble possible answers, try to syphon through the double meanings, bang the table as we are outwitted, and yell at the puzzle maker du jour who teases us with hints that confound.  More than one pen has been chucked across the room as I labored over these moments. 

And here is the final irony - we are required to think outside the box, all the while at war within one large box composed of many little black and white boxes!

My secret wish is to attend the crossword puzzle convention in Brooklyn as an observer, possibly a rookie. Yes, it's time to let my freak flag fly.  In the meantime I am about to make my Saturday walk down the driveway to snag my arcane addiction.

I have words and I am not afraid to connect them! I think my grandmother would approve.