That's Me in the Corner...

...that's me in the spotlight, losing my religion.*

I think I asked a lot from religion - to be the path, the salve for our wounds, the rule maker, the forgiver of rule breakers, the answer giver, the safety net for an afterlife.   

And religion responded with answers.  First it did so literally in the form of questions and answers from the little blue Baltimore Catechism of my childhood.  That suited my tiny brain perfectly.  Have a question? Just look up the answer.  Done!

I remember memorizing these succinct morsels. 
Q. Who made us?  A. God made us.  Q. Why did God make us?  A. Because He loves us. 

While wrapping Christmas gifts this year I was channel surfing to find a holiday movie and stumbled upon "Roots" - the 1977 miniseries based on Alex Haley's novel.  It was the first episode and I was locked in.  A favorite scene is the one with the father of Kunta Kinte raising up his newborn son to the consuming starry sky. He says the memorable line: "Kunta Kinte, behold the only thing greater than yourself."  What an ancient proclamation.

This nugget has become my religious baseline.  For me, a spiritual foundation is essential. As for organized religion, let's say I have lots of questions. 

Upon graduating from  a Catholic high school I went to a college run by Jesuits.  What a difference! After being part of a very traditional rigor where students were receivers of information, I entered a world where challenging religious tenets was encouraged. I was a lightweight compared to the heft of Jesuit knowledge but they loved a good fight and a well thought out argument.

In those brief four years, having a seat at the table with those thinkers, renegades, and passionate educators rocked my world.  But just as quickly, I returned home to the familiar structure of belonging to a local parish.

The more lockstep religion became, the more I silently questioned its role in my life.  But I stayed on the path, had my daughters baptized, volunteered, and I even taught CCD.  I suppressed my questions with the comfort of doing what was expected.

CBS Sunday Morning recently aired a piece titled "Losing Our Religion" in which organized religion membership was the topic.  http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-3445_162-57559432/losing-our-religion/

 It was a look at the declining numbers of people in the US who belong to a church and why.  According to a new study by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, the nation's spiritual landscape may be becoming a little less.religious.  "Some 45 million people, or one-fifth of the U.S. adult population, now say they belong to no church in particular," CBS reporter Lee Cowan explained.

And it's not a question of folks losing faith since only six percent identified themselves as either atheist or agnostic. No, the study suggests, Cowan reported, that "it's organized religion - with respondents overwhelmingly saying many organizations are too focused on money, power and politics."

For the first time Protestant religions are not the religious majority in the US, now representing 48 percent of the population.  No one faith is immune from this gradual shift. The study suggests that religious expression is not in danger but rather religion is not keeping pace with social issues. As the two collide, believers are frustrated by the immobility of organized religion. 

Cowan reports the demographic making the change is, not surprisingly, a youthful one. "Indeed, it's the young - one out of every three persons surveyed under the age of 30 - who say they don't link themselves with a church, a mosque, a synagogue, or anything else. Compare that, with the "Greatest Generation," where only one in 20 claimed no religious home."

Just like a tenant is at the mercy of the landlord, believers can be at the mercy of their organized church of choice.  It seems however, rather than argue with the landlord, renters are opting out.  Faith is not taking a hit, but houses of faith are.

On Christmas Day, columnist Maureen Dowd handed over her op-ed spot in the NY Times to a longtime friend Father Kevin O'Neil.  He wrote a frank, bare bones piece titled, "Why, God?" It is simply beautiful.  http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/26/opinion/dowd-why-god.html

Father O'Neil shares his beliefs with a good dose of wonder.  When his brother died unexpectedly at age 44, the priest questioned why, knowing no answer would satisfy.  Yet, something was revealed that become more precious.

He writes,"I experienced family and friends as unconditional love in the flesh." He marveled at, "the many ways that people reached out to me let me know that I was not alone. They really were the presence of God to me. They held me up to preach at Brian’s funeral. They consoled me as I tried to comfort others. Suffering isolates us. Loving presence brings us back, makes us belong."

After the Newton CT killings, a sobering need to be kinder, gentler seemed to pulse.  It reminded me that we are a community of people first. If we choose to be a member of an organized religious community, it is a freedom we enjoy as Americans. It is not a necessity. Sharing ourselves,  person-to-person,  to ease another's pain, that is the necessity.  I may struggle with organized religion but I feel at peace with our expression of God's love.

Father O'Neil puts it this way: "Unconditionally loving presence soothes broken hearts, binds up wounds, and renews us in life. This is a gift that we can all give, particularly to the suffering. When this gift is given, God’s love is present and Christmas happens daily."