I remember....

Memory is to aging what summer vacation is to my daughter – fleeting. Determining whether or not I have a good memory is something that stymies me as I get older. Did I remember to turn off the cook top? Did I shut the garage door? Do I remember the name of that woman who is smiling as she approaches me? We are bombarded daily with opportunities to remember or forget information. I jokingly toss out the throwaway line “I can barely recall wheat I had for breakfast” when I flippantly want to brush-off forgetfulness, but it is a tiny bit arrogant to treat memory this tritely. Those diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease hear the daily drumbeat of the ceaseless loss of brain cells and do not have the luxury of responding casually about it. Mental control oozes away thoughtlessly.

The well worn axiom that differentiates someone who has Alzheimer’s from someone who is forgetful - i.e. it’s not forgetting where you put the car keys, but forgetting what the keys are used for - gives momentary relief to some as we wonder about the possibility of the disease striking us.

A front page article by Gina Kolata (her name makes me think of Pina Colada!) in the 8/29/10 New York Times, titled Years Later, No Magic Bullet Against Alzheimer’s details the recent findings from an National Institutes of Health “science court” assembled to hear evidence from numerous research studies regarding what is believed to cause, prevent, and affect the onset of this cruel, mind crushing disease. The court's findings are gravely disillusioning – no one knows the answers.
 http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/29/health/research/29prevent.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=no%20magic%20bullet%20against%20alzheimer's&st=cse

Ms. Kolata cites the panel results, “Currently, no evidence of even moderate scientific quality exists to support the association of any modifiable factor (such as nutritional, supplements, herbal preparations, dietary factors, prescription or nonprescription drubs, social or economic factors, medical conditions, toxins or environmental exposures) with reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease.”  The Alzheimer's Association has weighed in on and agrees with these findings. Dr. Maria C. Carrillo, a senior director of the organization added,  "The Association agrees that there is not enough evidence to say anything definitive about the prevention of Alzheimer's disease and any kind of intervention."


Part of the problem is that until the mid 1980s, dementia was seen as a sad but expected part of the aging process so no serious studies or research was done about it.  Once Alzheimer's was identified, researchers and medical professionals began the quest to identify causes and prevention.  Sadly, the multitudes of studies done in the 30 years since have offered little in solid scientific proof regarding how to treat or prevent this disease.  The nature of the disease makes tracking those affected by it difficult.  "Alzheimer's seems to progress silently in the brain for a decade before the earliest symptoms of memory problems surface," cites Kolata.   "It can take another decade until the distinctive signs of Alzheimer's appear: profound memory loss and an inability to handle the normal activities of daily life like bathing and dressing.  As a result, the high quality studies of possible risk factors like diet and exercise or mental stimulation before the disease's onset might have to last for decades."

So mentally stimulating activities like doing crossword puzzles and reading have no proven impact on preventing or delaying the onset of Alzheimer's.  Doing crossword puzzles has been a passion of mine for years.  When the Sunday Times Magazine arrives at my home, my family knows to leave me to the cruel, mind twisting game as I slog through the excruciating exercise of trying to fill in as many white squares as possible.  I am disheartened to find this activity has little to no sway in thwarting Alzheimer's-nor does a healthy diet,  exercising and other positive lifestyle choices.  Of course maintaining a healthy lifestyle can only benefit the quality of our lives, but it would be satisfying to find out these choices could be banked away to head off the ravages of the disease. 

Dr. James Burke, Director of Memory Disorders Clinic at Duke University states in the Times article, "We don't have compelling evidence or proof that this (a healthy lifestyle) will prevent Alzheimer's disease but those measures would improve quality of life."


I watched with intrigue during the recent Arizona gubernatorial debates as Governor Jan Brewer, currently running for reelection, stopped in stone cold silence during her opening remarks last month. It was sixteen seconds of dead air. Crickets. Looking at her face during that uncharacteristic quiet I had two thoughts: 1) I know this experience regularly-thankfully not on television! 2) I still disagree with her views regarding immigration. Watching her search for the spark to ignite her stream of thought also ignited quite a moment of empathy. Who, over the age of 50, cannot relate to that very pregnant of pauses? Seeing it play out on the airwaves qualified the moment as quintessential reality TV.  The positive outcome for Governor Brewer was that she received lots of press following her lapse which gave her more camera face time - and to a politician, that is gold.


So, I search for more human tests to check my memory.  What is my childhood home phone number? MAdison 6-9839.  What is the number to my college mailbox?  524 What is the combination? Three lines left of Y and four to the right of V.  What group sang the song "Something In the Air?  Hmmmm - my streak is ended.


We are the sum of our parts - both those that are working and those that are compromised.  Having a modicum of control over those parts makes me feel more secure in my actions, but it is a flimsy security.  Better to  focus on what I do know, learn what I can, and strive for the grace to blend the two for as long as possible.


There is no comfortable conclusion to the Alzheimer's dilemma. One thing that I try to remember is that the moment I am standing in is the one that truly matters after all.